Marriage And Love

Good Communication + Problem Solving = Good Marriages

2008-07-12T09:08:00.000-06:00

How often have you heard or read about the “magic” of communication? How good communication is the secret to a healthy marriage? One of the biggest misconceptions about communication is that it will “fix” problems in your marriage. Are we minimizing the importance of good communication in a healthy marriage? No. However, communication without action could cause more problems in your marriage.

The importance of good communication cannot be overstated. However, acting upon the information you communicate is vital to solving problems in your marriage. For instance, suppose you and your spouse have a small sexual problem in your marriage. Perhaps your spouse needs sex approximately three times per week – while you only need sex two times per week. You and your spouse communicate your needs/feelings to one another. Problem solved, right?

Wrong! This is how it usually works. Suppose the husband needs sex three times per week and the wife only needs sex two times per week. After an excellent time of communication, the husband now feels the wife understands his needs for sex – it should be better next week – he believes. The wife has explained to the husband how she only needs sex two times per week. Additionally, she’s illustrated how sex three times per week is quite challenging – given her responsibilities with the house and children. The wife now believes the husband understands the situation, surely he’ll only ask for sex two times per week now.

Although both husband and wife are truly communicating their feelings, needs and desires – no problem solving has taken place. It’s quite likely the husband will continue attempting to get sex three times per week and the wife will most likely resist – feeling he should understand that twice per week as enough. Conflict will continue to arise in this relationship – only now – the relationship has more problems.

The wife feels the husband is inconsiderate and only thinking of himself and his penis. The husband is feeling pretty much the same way – after all - how can she resist his sexual needs when she now understands he needs sex three times per week? Even worse, both husband and wife have less faith in “communication” as it’s only made the problem worse. What’s missing in the communication is basic “problem solving”.

Problem solving is recognizing how, when and where the conflict arises – then finding and agreeing on steps to resolve those conflicts. For example, suppose the husband and wife had continued their discussion – discovering that each could get what they need if the husband would agree to help with the kids and the house – freeing time for one extra night of sex each week?

Sounds simple doesn’t it? Well, unfortunately this is the step that’s often left out of communication and the marriage suffers as a result. Both husband and wife should make a commitment to be “problem solvers”. Your marriage will blossom.

Fixing Sex in your Marriage

2008-07-09T07:11:00.001-06:00

Sex just not what it once was? Been married for a while? Has the bedroom become the “boring” room? Do you wonder if your spouse cares more for the television / computer / [whatever] than your sexual needs/desires? Well, you’re not alone. Husbands and wives fall quietly to sleep every night with unmet sexual needs/desires – creating a trail of resentment and frustration. Take a look at these steps to better sex in your marriage.

Have a “talk” with your husband/wife. WAIT, hang with me for a minute – this is worth it. Start the conversation off like this. “Sweetie, you know I love you, but we both know our sex life sucks and we need better, we deserve better, I deserve more just as you deserve more. I’m willing to make a commitment to work very hard to improve our sex life, but I need a commitment from you too. Before you tune me out – I would like for us to work on some stuff I found in this article. I believe it will help us.” At this point, either you AND your spouse will be willing to WORK on this “problem” or you won’t.

First, both of you need an open mind. It’s critical both of you are willing to gain an “understanding” of the other. You MUST discover each other’s sexual NEEDS and DESIRES. Even if you’ve been married for 10 years or more – sexual needs/desires might have changed or never been discovered. Sometimes, particularly with sex, we’re afraid to let our spouse know what we want or need. Perhaps we’re ashamed or embarrassed? Regardless, if you don’t know what your spouse needs/desires – it’s not likely he/she will be fulfilled. Both husband and wife should do some serious thinking about what you need sexually from each other. Often, men and women are polar opposites in their sexual needs. That’s ok and it’s normal. Both husband and wife should make a written list of those needs/desires.

The next step is where the “rubber meets the road” in your sex life. Often, we have a “selfish” focus when it comes to sex. That’s ok AS-LONG-AS we also have a commitment to put our SELF aside and give our spouse what he/she needs sexually. Hollywood has given the world an unrealistic model of a healthy sexy life. Husband and wives don’t “magically” find sexual fulfillment in the same “activities” or even at the same time. A healthy sex life requires a lot of giving. For instance, often women need intimacy to feel sexually fulfilled. This could require that a husband spend extra time before AND after “intercourse” cuddling, etc. – maybe she only wants to cuddle without intercourse? How many times have you heard a woman say “He gets what he wants – has his orgasm – then off he goes.”? That woman isn’t being fulfilled. Men are usually less complicated. Men usually have certain sexual “things” in mind that they want to do (or have done to them). Ladies, DON’T underestimate the power of your man’s sex drive. Those “things” might seem silly, gross or whatever, but to your man – they are essential to the sexual health of your marriage. PLEASE don’t make your man feel bad about these sexual “things”. Please do your best to fulfill his needs and desires. Just taking his “odd” sexual needs seriously and showing a desire to fulfill them could rejuvenate your sex life. When I say “odd”, I’m not talking about “twisted” sexual practices. I’m talking about positions and activities you would find in an average “husband & wife” sex book.

Lastly, I know you’re tired. I know the kids need attention and I know we all have a lot of things going on in our lives. However, keeping sexual needs/desires met is sort of like keeping the lawn mowed, the dishes washed, the house clean, the car running well, etc. If you truly seek a GREAT sex life with your spouse – be prepared to work at it each and every day. Not only will you see improvement in your sex life – joy will spill over into other parts of your relationship as well. One last word to the ladies: Your husband is more interested in what you’re willing to DO to satisfy his needs / desires than HOW you look! It’s true. Last word to the guys: Don’t try to “perform” in the bedroom. She’s not interested in your performance. She’s interested in your willingness to truly LISTEN to her, connect with her in an intimate way and show her your desire to keep her sexually fulfilled. She needs it from you. Make the commitment to each other – you deserve it – and learn to enjoy each other.

What's the Obsession with Sexy?

2008-02-10T17:40:00.000-06:00

I've often wondered why we (people) have such an obsession with sexy. Everywhere you look - someone is marketing the idea that sexy = "happiness" or sexy = "success" or sexy = "sexy mate".

I've often wondered - are people naturally obsessed with being sexy or have we been sold on the idea that being sexy is really important? Feel free to offer your thoughts on this subject in this webpage about being sexy.

Learning to Love your Spouse

2008-01-11T18:22:00.000-06:00

Are you planning to be married for a long time? If so, you need to understand something. That goofy feeling you have when you’re first “in love” won’t last forever. It might last months, a year or maybe less but it won’t last forever.

When it’s gone – what do you have – a couple of people wondering if you’re still in love? Love is a commitment, not a feeling. Love for your spouse comes from taking positive action toward him/her. Think about it.....

People tend to love those things they “invest” in. For example, the man who spends hours a day working on his “beloved” car begins to fall in love with that car and the woman who meticulously nurtures her flower garden sort of falls in love with it. It sort of works the same way in a long term marriage.

You’ll need to learn how to love each other and the best place to start is by “investing” in him/her. Look for things you can do for your spouse – things you feel good about doing and things he/she will appreciate you doing. Give it a long term try and enjoy the results.

E Lawrence Welch

Marriage & Love Blog

Married Sex – The Best Sex Ever

2007-10-29T12:04:00.000-06:00

That’s right – “married sex” (you know, waiting until you’re married to have a sex life) is the best ever.

Abstinence is hard work, but it’s worth it.

Don’t just take my word for it – check out the Ever Project (It’s part of Seth Godin’s Squidoo.com).

Look at the lens called Married Sex: The Best Sex Ever.

E Lawrence Welch

Marriage & Love Blog

Pyle Mountain Holsters

Gift Ideas for Men – Gun Holsters

2007-10-27T17:17:00.000-06:00

Ladies, have you ever thought about giving your husband, boyfriend, brother, dad, or whomever a gun holster for a gift? If not, you’re missing an excellent gift.

Here’s why gun holsters are great gift ideas to give to men:

Men enjoy getting new “gun stuff” – this includes holsters. When a woman (wife, girlfriend, etc.) gives the gift of a gun holster – the man is especially appreciative.

Not only does the gift represent a loving act of selfless giving and kindness – it represents an “unsaid endorsement” of his need for “gun stuff”. Ladies, to a man, this IS love.

If you’re interested in purchasing a gun holster as a gift for a man in your life – visit Pyle Mountain Holsters.

If you’re unsure about the type of gun holster or the size of the holster you need – send me an email – my name is Ed Welch and I’ll help you purchase the correct holster and size.

Also, if the gun holster gift doesn’t work out for some reason – we’ll accept refunds or exchanges without trouble. Shipping is always free and we offer a monthly gun holster giveaway.

Ed Welch

Pyle Mountain Holsters

Gun Holsters Blog

Marriage & Love Blog

Wife Pregnant? Cut her some Slack!

2007-10-18T12:55:00.000-06:00

Are you a pregnant wife – looking to help your husband through this difficult time? Maybe your wife is pregnant? Maybe you need to understand her a little better? Regardless, this article offers a few thoughts on pregnant wives and why we husbands need to “cut them some slack”.

Only those women who are or have been pregnant truly know the challenges of pregnancy. Your wife will rapidly cycle through more physical, mental and emotional changes during pregnancy than perhaps any other time in her life. For this reason, she needs the understanding and support of her husband now more than ever.

Pregnant women often feel sick, good, sad, fearful, happy and angry all at the same time. Unfortunately, they’re not even able to help themselves (for the most part). They might feel fat, ugly, uncomfortable, needy and sad. If you’re like I was during the two pregnancies of my loving wife – I never knew what would be the next “problem” – but it was certain those “problems” would come - one after another.

More than anything, she needs your unconditional love, support and understanding. She might have never experienced physical difficulties before in her life. Now she might be experiencing daily sickness, hemorrhoids hanging like marbles and severe emotional swings. No two women experience pregnancy the same and rarely does the same woman experience it the same during two separate pregnancies.

Sex might be good for a while or it might be non-existent. You might go from having sex once a night to none at all. Perhaps the doctor has recommended you abstain from sex because of certain risks, etc? Regardless, be prepared for a time of challenge for both of you. Keep holding her hand, continue to reassure her and let her know that you love her just as much now as you did "back then".

Perhaps the most important consideration is that the husband and wife look to understand each other during this challenging time. The more you understand each other (particularly the husbands understanding the wife) – the better you’ll make the situation. Don’t become frustrated with one another – just keep talking, keep on communicating and work to be a part of the solution – not the problem.

Keep this time in perspective, focus on the birth of your child and the joy that little baby will bring – don’t let challenging times drag each other down. There will be better days ahead.

E Lawrence Welch

Marriage & Love Blog

Gun holsters are great gift ideas for men.

Mandy’s Thoughts on Marriage & Love

2007-09-30T19:40:00.000-06:00

Mandy wrote an interesting post about our Marriage and Love Blog. I found her blog to be quite romantic and refreshing. Mandy’s blog is called Conversations over Dinner. She offers insight into her personal life and relationships in a unique, blogging manner. Of particular interest to me is the manner in which she summarizes events (like dinner) with a candid and very talented manner of writing. I almost felt as though I was sitting at a table with her – listening to her talk about various events – a very personal touch. Be sure to take a look at her Conversations over Dinner blog – it’s worth your time.

E Lawrence Welch

Marriage & Love Blog

Pyle Mountain Holsters

Financial Value of a Good Marriage

2007-09-07T07:52:00.000-06:00

Is there financial value in a good marriage? Does a good marriage or good relationship with your spouse create a financial value? Does a bad relationship with your spouse cause a negative financial value in your marriage?

Take a look at this article on the Financial Pizza blog. It's an article about the financial value of a good relationship with your spouse.

E Lawrence Welch

Marriage & Love Blog

Pyle Mountain Holsters

7 Characteristics of a Good Conflict with Your Spouse

2007-09-06T09:37:00.000-06:00

Conflicts with your spouse are an inevitable part of the married life. The way you learn to handle these conflicts can be the difference between developing a good marriage and a bad one. Often you’ll hear couples claim they don’t have conflicts – they never have fights. This might be true, but one of them is suppressing his/her feelings – a potentially devastating habit. Most people don’t care for conflicts but sometimes conflicts are necessary. Take a look at these 7 characteristics of “good conflicts” with your spouse – they could help your marriage – maybe more than you realize.

7) Good conflicts should always be targeted at the problem or issue at hand – never the person. Targeting your spouse will only cause him or her to be defensive and resentful and will not likely resolve any issues. For instance, suppose your husband isn’t helping out with housework as much as he should – you should focus the discussion on the issue of housework (time demands, needs, etc.) rather than attacking the husband for watching too much television, etc.

6) Good conflicts require respectful communication about the issues – never any yelling or name calling. Yelling, name calling and such only serve to break down the line of communication. Sure, you might get something off your chest – but is it worth the price? Name calling and yelling is usually more about the person doing it than the conflict.

5) Is the issue “conflict worthy”? This is something you’ll need to think about and decide for yourself. Sometimes little “issues” need to be resolved before they grow into big issues. Other times, you should learn to let things go. This is a balance that’s learned in marriage as you go along but it’s important to be aware of what’s conflict worthy.

4) Conflicts with your spouse require good timing. Obviously, this isn’t always possible, but if you have control over the conflict’s timing – watch for a good time to discuss things. Avoid discussions when one of you is angry, extremely tired, or touchy. In order to have a good conflict you should choose good timing.

3) Keep your conflicts between you and your spouse. If possible, don’t argue in front of other people, kids etc. The chance of you successfully resolving an issue will be much greater if your conflict is in private.

2) Don’t be afraid to initiate the conflict. This doesn’t make you a bad person. Often, in marriage, one of you will be tend to keep things in and the other will be more open. If you’re the spouse who keeps things inside – don’t be afraid to open up and start the conflict. Remember, conflict is a good thing when done properly. Issues are only resolved when conflicts happen.

1) Don’t let the world deceive you, conflict in marriage is a good thing when done properly. Marital issues are usually only resolved through conflicts. Depending on the methods used to resolve these conflicts – tremendous personal growth might be seen in each spouse. Heavy weights and baggage can be lifted, intimacy and passion can be restored and your marriage can be better than ever – providing you and your spouse learn to use these good characteristics in your conflicts.

E Lawrence Welch

Marriage & Love Blog

Pyle Mountain Holsters

7 Ways to Ruin Your Kids

2007-08-31T18:35:00.000-06:00

Do you have children? Do you want to have kids some day? Maybe you have kids and you’re concerned about their future? Take a look at seven ways to ruin your kids. If you avoid these things – you might be taking a step toward a better future for your children.

7) Always give in to your kids (let them have their way). Be particularly careful to only give in after you’ve told them over and over again that it can’t be their way. This will help to reinforce to the child that he/she will always be able to wear you down and get his/her way.

6) Make sure to purchase a good television for your kids. If possible, get the 24 hour cartoon channels. Get them hooked on the best shows at an early age. In this way, they won’t bother you very much. If they do try to interrupt your busy schedule – ask them if they would like to watch some television with you – then sneak away after they’ve gotten into the show – they probably won’t notice you left.

5) Don’t discipline your children and under no circumstances are you to give them a spanking. Children are never to be disciplined – only loved. After all, kids are born like a “blank slate” – if they’re always shown loving affection – they’ll turnout to be wonderful later in life.

4) Daycare is great – try to leave you kids at daycare as long as possible. After all, they’ve got a lot of friends at daycare and they seem to enjoy it. When you do pick them up, don’t show them any attention – after all, they’ve gotten attention all day at daycare.

3) Never play games with your children. Adults usually don’t like games anyway. Make sure you tell the people at daycare to play games with your kids so you won’t have to.

2) Kids hate to hear the word no. Try not to say no to your kids it will only cause them to bother you more.

1) If your child really wants to do something fun with you - tell him/her that you’ll do it later or do it tomorrow. Keep telling him/her this and eventually your child will forget about it and you’ll be off the hook. After all, it’s all about you and what you want, right?

E Lawrence Welch

Marriage & Love Blog

Pyle Mountain Holsters

7 Ways to Ruin a Marriage

2007-08-31T16:32:00.000-06:00

Are you happily married? Would you like to be happily married? Are you looking for ways to have a happy marriage? Take a look at 7 ways to ruin a marriage below. These can be equally applied to both husbands and wives. If you’ll avoid these 7 things – you’ll be a step closer to a happy marriage.

7) Hold things in – don’t communicate with your spouse about “issues” in your marriage. Wait until that tiny problem has grown into a big problem – then start a fight about it.

6) Spend more time with your friends than with your spouse. If your friend wants to do something fun – leave your spouse at home – he/she probably wouldn’t enjoy the outing anyway.

5) Since you might not want to have sex when your spouse does – make sure you get your way. Don’t let him/her have the pleasure of sexual fulfillment in your marriage. After all, you’re tired, you’ve been working all day, you should only have sex when you want it, right? And never do anything sexual that you don’t want to do – regardless of how much it means to your spouse – it’s all about you, right?

4) When you have a disagreement with your spouse – don’t attack the problem – focus the blame directly on your spouse. Bring up everything you can think of to back up your point. Think back years and years – use little instances in the past to further prove to your spouse that you’re right. After all, since you’re right about this disagreement – you should win the argument.

3) Make sure you stay in touch with your old boyfriends and girlfriends – after all, they’re just friends. While you’re at it – make new friends with the opposite sex – these relationships are healthy – you need to have a lot of friendships with members of the opposite sex in order to have a healthy marriage. And be sure to talk about these "friends" to your spouse as much as possible.

2) Be as negative as you can around your spouse. After all, you’ve had a hard day, you’ve been done wrong, you don’t feel well – make sure you’re spouse knows you’re in a bad mood and take it out on he/she. It’s your right isn’t it?

1) Be disrespectful toward your spouse every chance you get. Put he/she down in front of others. Never give your spouse a compliment and never say encouraging things to one another. Be sure to treat your spouse as if you’re a superior being – after all, you probably are, right?

E Lawrence Welch

Marriage & Love Blog

Pyle Mountain Holsters

A Look at Winsor’s Thoughts on the Marriage & Love Blog

2007-08-30T18:05:00.000-06:00

Take a look at Winsor’s thoughts on the Marriage and Love Blog. He’s got an interesting way of looking at it. Winsor has an interesting blog. Never having been to Singapore – I found some interesting photos of a walk he called “The Deathly Walk” - although I’m not quite sure why he called it that. The walk (with photos and commentary) was quite interesting and it gave me a unique look at Singapore. It was nice to visit Winsor’s blog as it was sort of a journey in itself. It also reminded me that Marriage and Love is everywhere, not just in my own “little” world.

E Lawrence Welch

Marriage & Love Blog

Pyle Mountain Holsters

Review my Blog and I’ll Give You a Link Back

2007-08-30T10:28:00.000-06:00

Review my blog and I’ll give you a link back to that review in your blog. It’s sort of like exchanging links for websites – be we’ll exchange links on our blogs. I got this idea from John Chow. Here’s how it will work: In your own blog or website - You write a 100 word review of this blog, or one of my blog posts with a link to the main page of this blog – http://www.holsterss.com/marriage-and-love.html and a link to this article at http://www.holsterss.com/2007/08/review-my-blog-and-ill-give-you-link.html. When your review is posted in your blog – send me an email - I’ll verify your review then mention your blog (or website) in a post on my blog. This way you get a link back to your blog. It will give you direct traffic and help you in the search engines. We do have to follow a few guidelines – take a look at them:

1) I’m not going to link to any type of pornographic blogs (or websites) or blogs with hate, or “distasteful” content – so don’t waste your time.

2) Be honest in your review – it’s ok if you think my blog stinks – it’s your opinion.

3) Make sure you write at least a 100 word review.

4) Please don’t try to scam me by posting the review and then deleting it when we have a link to you. We do check our links back every now and then.

5) Don’t forget to send an email to info@holsterss.com showing me where your review is – then I’ll link that review.

Thanks,

E Lawrence Welch

Marriage & Love Blog

Pyle Mountain Holsters

Cool Article about the Stages of Marriage

2007-08-29T15:41:00.000-06:00

Although I usually write my own articles to publish on this blog - this article about the stages of marriage certainly caught my attention. So I thought you might enjoy it:

What Stage Is Your Marriage In?

By Elaine Pennartz

I am certainly no expert on marriage, but I would like to share some lessons that I have learned from being married to my husband, Bobby, for 38 years. Throughout those 38 years we have experienced different stages of happiness in our marriage. I believe that those stages can be related to a person’s life.

A newborn baby is just starting to learn about life, experiencing something new every day and growing bigger each day. The baby is like an empty glass. Whatever the parents pour into the baby is what the baby will contain. If the parents pour in love, compassion, forgiveness, and joy, these are what the baby will pour out. A “newborn” marriage is very much like the newborn baby. Whatever the couple pours into the marriage is what the marriage is going to be like. If you want your marriage to be a loving, compassionate, forgiving, and joyful relationship, you must pour those things into the marriage.

And just like a baby learns something new every day, “newborn” married couples will learn something new about each other every day. It may be a pleasant new thing or it could be an annoying little habit. The marriage is developing like a newborn baby as well. A baby learns to eat, communicate, and walk. A “newborn” marriage has to be nourished and love has to be expressed so that finally the marriage can be up and running.

After several years, the marriage grows into the “adolescent” stage. If you know a pre-teen, or can remember being one, you know the roller coaster ride they are on in this stage of development. An adolescent will cry at the drop of a hat. They just can’t control all of the new emotions that they are experiencing. A parent can be talking to a seemingly happy, carefree child, and all of a sudden, the child is the most misunderstood and mistreated person in the world.

The “adolescent” marriage has these emotional ups and downs as well. Often there are young children to care for, or perhaps there are changes in careers that cause the family to be uprooted. In some families there is the stress of both people working outside of the home and raising a family. Balancing a home, children, and a career is often more than some people can handle. There are so many changes to deal with during this growing time in a marriage. Without a strong foundation the marriage is vulnerable.

Then there is the adult, or “mid-life” stage of marriage. There are some people reaching mid-life that just can’t face getting older. In a “mid-life” marriage the partners are experiencing changes to their bodies that are not always pleasant. One of the partners may have health problems that limit them as never before. It is hard to come to terms with these kinds of limitations.
A person in this stage of life may look back on their lives and begin to think that time is slipping away. The dreams of their youth have not been fulfilled. The lie that time is running out and youth is wasted can destroy many marriages.

However, change is not always bad! People in this stage of marriage often feel more comfortable with each other than ever before. They know each other’s like and dislikes. They certainly don’t have to pretend anything. A “mid-life” marriage can be a struggle at times, but is always worth the effort!

The last stage of life and of a marriage is a death of a spouse due to old age or illness. I have not experienced this stage, but I have watched my mother and two sisters go through it. After my daddy died in December 1998, my mother came to live with Bobby and me. It has been a great time for us to enjoy Mother, but I know that after being married for almost 75 years it was not easy for Mother. She lost the only man she ever loved and was uprooted from her home all within 3 months. Yet, she stays joyful and never complains. What must it be like to be her?

Loss can be devastating. The only good thing that I can see coming out of it is that the surviving person must depend on God for every moment they live without their loved one. My two sisters, whom have both been widowed in the last three years, have proven this to me. They give glory to God for each day that they are able to get through.

These stages of life and of marriage are inevitable. Why not go through them with joy and live each day to the fullest.

Elaine Pennartz

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Elaine_Pennartz http://EzineArticles.com/?What-Stage-Is-Your-Marriage-In?&id=705602

Sexy Body – What’s All the Fuss About?

2007-08-27T09:32:00.000-06:00

Sexy body syndrome – the obsession of having a sexy body - is an amazing American addiction. But my question is why? Follow me through a few thoughts – we’ll delve into some “truths” about the sexy body – particularly in the context of relationships, love, dating, marriage and living happily ever after with your prince or princess.

Everyone wants to have a sexy body – everyone likes to see a sexy body. The attraction to a sexy body (male or female) cannot be denied. It’s like a chemical thing – we react in a primitive manner – it’s like we can’t help it – we’re drawn to that sexy body.

If a sexy body is such an important part of a dating or marriage relationship – why do thousands of sexy bodied men and women continue to walk in the shadow of loneliness every day? Why do they continue to cheat, get divorced and have miserable relationships? Maybe the sexy body isn’t as important as we think?

With our natural tendencies to be highly drawn to those with a sexy body – it’s easy to understand why we might place such a high emphasis on its importance. Not to mention the barrage of sexy body marketing we’re hit with daily. However, why are we continually fooled into thinking that if we can just have that awesome sexy body – we’ll find our prince or princess and live happily ever after?

Everyone knows that a sexy body is temporary. If you don’t believe me – take a look at folks who’ve been married a few years – particularly those with kids? How many of those people still have a sexy body? Ladies, what do children do to that sexy body? Time and again, you see the newly divorced man or woman – working out at the gym, losing weight – working to find that sexy body once again. Why? Think about it – a sexy body is a great way to attract guys – but it’s more likened to the way a man is attracted to a big juicy steak. Why would any man or woman want to be a steak? I know it makes us feel good for guys or gals to look at us with desire. But when you’re seeking a serious relationship – you know - the one where you live happily ever after? Why start the relationship on the foundation of a sexy body - a sexy body that probably won’t be around in a few years (maybe less)?

Ok, I’m a man and I’m attracted to those sexy bodies just as much as any other man. However, having been happily married for over 10 years – I can tell you from experience – those little things that help you to live happily ever after with your prince or princess have nothing to do with a sexy body. Things like respect, giving, communication, mutual admiration, fun, smiles, sharing, serving, caring, loyalty, commitment, etc.

So, next time you find yourself feeling down because you don’t have the sexy body you think you need in order to be happy – give yourself a “sexy body reality check”. Remember those things that truly are important to the goal of living happily ever after with your prince or princess and stop trying to be a big juicy steak. After all, what does a person do when he/she is finished with that juicy steak?

E Lawrence Welch

Marriage & Love Blog

Pyle Mountain Holsters

Weight Loss & Diet Failures? Forget Trying to Lose Weight - Start Finding Thin!

2007-08-21T12:37:00.000-06:00

How many diet failures and weight loss attempts have you experienced? If you’re like 99% of Americans – you can’t count your diet failures and failed weight loss attempts. Would you like to know why? We can help – take a moment to look at the following thoughts about weight loss, diet failures and all those attempts to lose weight.

The concept of diet and weight loss is entirely flawed. Think about it – how often do you try to “lose” anything? As human beings, it’s unnatural for us to try to lose things – including weight loss. Do you set out to make more money or lose more poverty? Do you try to look more attractive or less “ugly”? Do we seek more happiness or less sadness? Do you see the trend in our thinking? We grow up being told to be responsible, don’t lose our keys, don’t lose our homework, etc. We’re simply not “wired” to lose things – weight loss included.

Sure, everyone has experienced the feeling of a little weight loss while on a diet – but did you find thin? Did you reach your goal? Do you look and feel like you desire? Did you regain the weight? It’s frustrating isn’t it? It doesn’t have to be that way. It’s not your fault. Learn a new approach to reaching your weight loss goals.

Begin to think in terms of “finding thin” rather than “losing weight”. It’s ok to have that goal of weight loss, but think of it in terms of how you would like to see yourself. For example, I see myself healthy, smiling and sexy – while weighing in at 125 pounds. As your focus turns away from diet and weight loss – you’ll begin to focus on the person you seek to become. This approach is much more natural and in line with our basic human tendencies. People tend to gravitate and accomplish things they truly want – not lose things they don’t want.

Take that first step, write out a description of the person you seek to become. Write down the details and get a real clear picture of your future self. Then, think of those things you believe will be required to become that person. Don’t worry about the weight loss needed. Focus on things such as diet, eating healthy, exercise, attitude, etc. Most importantly, focus on finding thin and forget about weight loss. When you learn to think in this way on a daily basis – you will find thin.

To Be Continued…

E Lawrence Welch

Marriage & Love Blog

Pyle Mountain Holsters

Cute Weight Loss Merchandise

Attractive Women – What do Men Really See as Attractive?

2007-08-05T19:39:00.000-06:00

Looking to become more attractive to men? Unfortunately, many women get caught up in the billion dollar “attractive women marketing schemes” and lose sight of what really makes women attractive to men. Take a look at the following thoughts.

1) Do you put forth effort to stay physically fit? Do you exercise and try to eat healthy? We’re not talking about weight loss or looking like a model. Women who put forth this kind of effort are automatically more attractive to men. These women feel better about themselves, are healthier and it shows.

2) Is your attitude positive or negative? Women with a positive attitude will be viewed as being much more attractive than those who have a negative attitude.

3) Are you self-absorbed? Ok, this is sort of a tricky one as most people are quite self-centered. What’s important is the level of interest you show in other people. Women who show genuine interest in a man (opposed to talking all about herself) will always appear more attractive.

4) Do you dress tasteful or tasty? Would you rather be viewed as a steak or a sexy woman? Men can’t help but notice (and enjoy) a woman dressed tasty. It’s sort of like a dog licking is butt – its automatic – a reflex. However, it’s not attractive to him in the way you desire. Often, men are “turned off” by women who dress tasty. Unless you’re looking to be enjoyed like a one evening juicy steak – dress tasteful. Don’t get me wrong – dress appealing but not sleazy.

5) Smiles are always attractive. A great smile will take years off your age. Isn’t that a woman’s dream – to be younger? Practice smiling more and the years will come off. Not a fake smile like you see in magazines and photo shoots – but a genuine smile.

6) A “gentle and quiet spirit” is always attractive. Wait, before you get upset - think of the opposite of Rosie O’Donnell. If you want to look attractive in a man’s eyes – keep a “gentle and quiet spirit” toward him. Let go of those years “baggage”.

7) Lastly, don’t look at yourself in terms of what you’re not. Look at yourself in terms of what you are. Why? Simply put, when your attitude is focused on looking better, younger, thinner, prettier, etc. – you never measure up in your own eyes. Men can smell this “insecurity” a mile away and it’s not attractive. Focus on those things you have. All women can take positive action with each item in this list. When you feel better about yourself on the inside – you’ll look great to the men around you.

Marriage & Love Blog

Pyle Mountain Holsters

Internet Dating – 5 Essentials

2007-06-02T20:53:00.000-06:00

Internet dating can be an exciting and effective way to meet the love of your life. Approximately ten years ago – I met my wife of today via internet dating. Back then, internet dating was only beginning. Take a look at these five internet dating essentials – they can help you connect with that special person.

1) Make sure you know who’s at the other end of the internet dating computer. Although this is easier said than done – you can follow a few simple guidelines. Stick with the more reputable companies, look for inconsistencies in the things they tell you and go with your gut instincts.

2) If you’re serious about turning this internet dating experience into a serious relationship – you’ve got to be brutally honest. The last thing you need is for that special person to find out something “surprising” about you a year into the relationship. My wife and I made a game out of it – we would think of ten negative things about ourselves and share them, etc. The point is, you have a great opportunity to use internet dating to truly get to know someone on the inside – and vice versa – so be truthful and open up.

3) Don’t try to find a perfect “paper match”. Sure, I’ve heard about all the internet dating, scientific matchmaking profiles and such and I think it’s great. However, don’t be afraid to venture out and learn about people that might not be as close a match as you would like. My wife had some things in her profile that didn’t make any sense to me.

4) Internet dating can create a lot of unrealistic expectations so you must be careful with them. For example, it’s easy to formulate an image of a person entirely different than he/she. It’s important to keep your expectations as close to reality as possible.

5) When the time comes for that first face to face meeting you must keep a few things in mind. Be safe, there are a lot of nuts in the internet dating arena - so you’ve got to be safe first. Next, be yourself, after all, you’ve gotten the hard part out of the way – you know each other inside and out. If you’ve been brutally honest – you don’t need to worry about trying to be someone you’re not. Follow these simple steps and you can have fun and rewards with internet dating.

E Law

Sexy Body – How do Men Really Feel?

2007-06-02T18:49:00.000-06:00

Sexy body here, a sexy body there – everywhere you look – someone is telling you to get a sexy body and promising great rewards. Ladies, don’t waist your time striving for that sexy body - there’s good news and some basic things you need to learn about men.

First, men will always respond positively to a woman with a sexy body – it’s really not even a choice we have. When we see a woman with a sexy body – it’s hard not to notice. But MANY other things are more important to us. Don’t let yourself be deceived by the billion dollar “sexy body” industry. There are other characteristics men would rather find in a woman or wife than a “sexy body”. Take a look at these five:

1) Stay fit and healthy. Men like women who exercise and stay fit – it shows you care about yourself, builds your self esteem and gives you confidence. All of which make you look better in his eyes. Just forget about the quest for that sexy body.

2) A woman with a strong desire to please her man in bed will look more sexy - in his eyes - than a babe with a super sexy body. Try it, lose your inhibitions and make your bedroom a place where his fantasies come true.

3) Lose the “I’m tired” stuff - everyone is tired – him too. When you’re chronically negative – for whatever reason – you will look less desirable in his eyes. Have you ever known an older woman (age 50 or so) who always seemed to act like she was in her 30’s? Men like that – work on acting younger he’ll begin to see you like you really do have a sexy body.

4) Men would rather be in a relationship with a woman who shows him true respect and admiration than with a blond babe sporting a super sexy body. It’s true, you’ll be looking like you’ve got a sexy body – in his eyes – when you show him true respect.

5) Often, women with a sexy body are quite devoted to themselves. After all, it takes a lot of work to maintain that look. Don’t be deceived, men grow tired of women who are only interested in themselves and how they look. Don’t misunderstand, it’s important that you take pride in your appearance, but don’t let it consume you – it will grow old in your man’s eyes.

E Lawrence Welch

Marriage and Love Blog

7 Qualities of a Good Wife – Part I

2007-05-22T08:47:00.000-06:00

Whether you’re a man looking for a good wife or a wife wanting to improve yourself, your marriage or your relationship – take a look at these 7 qualities of a good wife. Good fruit will come from these basic qualities anyone can develop.

7) Nag free. Ladies, a good wife is going to be nag free. Nagging is an ineffective method of trying to get your husband to perform a task you desire. Trust me ladies – it doesn’t work and often will have the opposite of its intended affect.

6) Supportive. Are you supportive? What does it mean to be supportive? Do you belittle your man or do you help him to feel good about himself, his job, activities? Your husband will be much more respectful or you if you support him. Even when you don’t agree with him – respectfully let him know you don’t agree – then support him anyway. Otherwise, if he has difficulties – he’ll feel as though you’re adding to his troubles.

5) Build up your man. Ladies, there’s no quicker way to build resentment in your man than to criticize him – especially in front of others. On the flip side – try genuinely complementing your husband in front of other people. Your husband will glow with admiration toward you and you’ll feel his appreciation as love.

4) Keep him happy in the bedroom. Unfortunately, many women underestimate the importance of keeping her man’s needs met. Often this comes from the basic differences in women and men. For men, sexual desire is much like physical hunger and if it’s not fed properly – the relationship will struggle. Women must look to understand the needs of the man from his perspective not hers.

3) Respect. A good wife will try to treat her man with respect. How? Much of learning how to be respectful toward your husband has to do with the way you talk to him. The old phrase “It’s not so much what you say but how you say it” should become a wife’s motto. This doesn’t mean you need to be careful what you say to your husband – just be respectful in the way you say it.

2) Communicate. Ironically, good communication between men and women can be quite frustrating. However, a good wife will seek to discover what’s on her mind and find a way to express herself to her husband. Often, men and women will make a joint decision – while the man thinks she’s in agreement with him – but only to discover later that she thought the decision was a bad idea.

1) Pleasant. Work to be pleasant toward your husband. Don’t be one of those people who makes everyone around you feel bad just because you’ve had a hard day. Good things will come from being pleasant. It’s a decision – just decide to be pleasant. But if you can’t be pleasant – make a decision not to bring him down with you.

E Lawrence Welch

Marriage & Love Blog

Love & Marriage Book Library (our recommendations)

2007-05-21T18:54:00.000-06:00

When we find a love and marriage type book we believe would be beneficial to you – we’ll post it here in our love & marriage book library. Enjoy reading and remember to tell us your thoughts.

You can find the other marriage and love books we like in this store.

The following book is a great book about Love Languages. It's a MUST READ for any husband / wife who desires a better relationship / marriage.

Love Poem on Your Mind?

2007-05-17T23:18:00.000-06:00

Love poem - looking to write one or maybe locate one? Whether you’re looking to find a love poem or write one – read a few tips below – writing a love poem is not as hard as you might think and the rewards aren’t easily measured.

A love poem is one of the most awesome ways to express love to that special person. Receiving a love poem is one of the greatest feelings in the world. Love poems need not be long, short, good, bad or ugly in order to work. You’ll just have to trust my experience on this one. Additionally, love poems are not very often used by men to express love. When I met my wife (she was age 29) she had never received a love poem - written specially for her – during 13 years of dating.

First, a love poem does not need to be well written. Generally, women and men appreciate receiving a simple, thoughtful, from-the-heart, personalized love poem and could care less about its quality. In other words, just write it and give it to he/she – it need not be very good – she’ll/he’ll love it anyway. Give it a try.

Short and simple love poems work best for me. When I say short and simple, I’m talking about 8 to 10 lines. In my experience, a love poem longer than that won’t get written. Pick out a few personal things about that special person and write cute little lines about it. Make it rhyme if you want, but don’t think too much about it – you won’t be able to write it.

Lastly, take a look at the love poem below – originally written for my wife. It’s cute, simple, from-the-heart and takes no talent to write. Also, I could care less whether it’s a “proper” poem from a “poetry” perspective. Don’t worry about studying “poetry” or writing a poem “correctly”. Forget all that stuff you learned in school and just write. After all, the point is to express love to that special someone – not win a poetry award. Give it a try – you will not regret it.

A Gift to Sherri

Sherri my wife, you are my life
With eyes of kindness – you help me walk without blindness

Sherri my love, you were sent from above
How wonderful you are to give me your love

Holding you near
Fills my heart with cheer

Sherri my dove
You fill my heart with everlasting love

Can One Book Show You how to Enhance Love in Your Marriage?

2007-04-21T13:55:00.000-06:00

Once in a while – a great book with awesome ideas will emerge – capable of changing your life. Although this book has been around a while – a Marriage & Love blog would not be complete without a post about it. The Five Love Languages, by Dr. Gary Chapman is one of those potentially life changing books. Why do I say potentially? Simple, a book is pretty much worthless unless you’re able to implement the information it offers. If you and/or your spouse are truly committed to learning methods to help each other feel love in your marriage – this book is a must read. The ideas are simple to implement and they certainly do work. You’ve got to trust me on this one as my wife and I successfully practice concepts learned from it. To answer the question in the title – yes, I believe one book can show you how to enhance love in your marriage. However, you will be the one choosing whether or not to implement what you learn. You can purchase a copy of it through this cool Squidoo Love lens.

E Lawrence Welch

Love on Squidoo

2007-04-16T12:19:00.000-06:00

Check out this love Squidoo.

Love

Ed